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Archive for August, 2010

Rethinking the Negatives

It’s amazing to think that some of you reading may never have used a 35mm camera and looked at negatives before.  However, as this post percolated in my head, photo negatives are what popped up.  Here’s a photo print with its negative next to it.  The white becomes black and vice-versa.  As a kid I found it fascinating that something so funny looking could create an actual picture when put through the right chemicals and machines.  But when negative is processed correctly that is exactly what happens.

Source

So what does that have to do with hair?

Well, when I look at my head I tend to see all of the white patches.  The missing hair, the scalp, the shiny places where I’ve truly picked it clean.  I focus on what is gone, what I have done (perhaps what is “bad”), how I have failed.  Listening to people talk about this disorder, I know that I’m not the only one.  Most of us tend to focus on how many hairs we pulled or how big of patch is missing, or what we “need” to cover up.  When we do this we feel miserable.

One night I really looked at myself and my frizzy, crazy, curly hair, and realized just how much I still have.  It doesn’t feel like much when I touch it or try to squish it into place.  It feels absolutely minuscule when I wash it. But when it dries & starts to frizz it is HUGE.  I can’t even imagine how nuts and out of control my hair would be if I actually had ALL of it.  Honestly, I’d probably need to have my stylist thin it.  Which is ironic.

But my point:  looking at my HAIR instead of at my scalp was a turning point.  If I focused on what was there, it was a lot less depressing than thinking about everything that was missing.  If I concentrated on the dark parts, the white areas weren’t nearly as intimidating.  If we focus on how many times we resist urges, rather than how many times we give in, there is hope.

How can you change your perspective today?  Can you count the number of times you catch yourself & use a tool instead?  How about how many times you tune out that nagging voice in your head telling you that you’ve failed again.  Celebrate how many times you didn’t pull today and don’t give thought to how many you did.  Figure out how you can rethink and reverse your negatives.  Then report back!

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