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Archive for December, 2009

Happy Holidays

I’m not sure that you’ll really notice the difference…

but I’m taking a hiatus for the holidays. I’m not going to have good computer access for the next week or so, at least, so I’m not even going to try and figure out how I’d post.

The holidays can bring on a lot of anxiety for people and that can lead to increased pulling urges. I’ve had this coming up, although related more to packing than to holiday stress itself. I hope that all of you will take some time to just sit and concentrate on being calm while pondering what these holidays mean to you (whichever ones you celebrate). Find some inner peace and return to that place if you find yourself getting amped up.

Good luck, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Solstice, Happy Kwanzaa, & Happy 2010!

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Snow Day x2

The good news is that the meeting I was dreading is now over a month away. The bad news is I’ve lost two days worth of income because of snow days. Except yesterday it didn’t snow and we totally could’ve had school. That was annoying. Today I am really glad I don’t have to go outside, except maybe to dig my husband’s car out of the driveway so he can go to an appointment.

When I was little my mom wouldn’t let us go ANYWHERE on a snow day. We could go out to play, but she figured if it were too bad to go to school then it was too bad to go anywhere fun. Granted, the country road we lived on is still scary to drive on in this stuff. I don’t blame her for using the excuse to not drive.

But I have the same policy for myself. If work is canceled for me, I don’t get to go out and run errands or go to the mall or whatnot. So that means two days now cooped up in my house without a lot planned to do. Add to that the head cold I got Tuesday night, and I’ve been sitting, reading, typing, vegging.

My hat helps quite a bit, but sometimes I just want it OFF. It is hard to make myself keep it on when my head gets hot or itchy, but if I take it off I will pull like mad from moment one.

Not being able to leave the house or get external stimuli makes it hard to resist pulling. What are those “special situations” that are most difficult for you?

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Ugh, I made the mistake of checking my work email before going to bed. Now I’m all worked up about a work situation that should NOT be an issue, but is. Over and over and over, these administrators disrespect me as a therapist and don’t listen when I try to explain things.  They’re being underhanded and going through other people rather than just talking to me, the person they hired.

I am doing therapy, lessons, work of course, and trying to get ready for two back to back trips.  It is the holidays and almost time for my vacation.  I should be enjoying myself.   I do NOT need this.

So, the next couple of days could be a major challenge both hair and stress wise. I’m trying so hard to just let this go as I can’t control other people. I know that legally & ethically & therapeutically I’m in the right.   I’m going to hold on to that and hope for the best.

Hoping…

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Tug of War

I am so distracted lately. Maybe it is just all the appointments that I’ve had after school or the fact that we have too many things coming up soon that I have to prep all at the same time. I just can’t focus and I don’t feel like I’m accomplishing anything with my time.

I’m certainly not able to focus on my hair. While part of me wishes I were doing better, much of me just doesn’t care.

I continue to struggle with whether or not it is okay to not care if I pull. I feel like I should always be fighting it. Sometimes I just get tired though and I don’t want to fight. Sometimes, just accepting that it happens and not letting it shackle me is refreshing. But with all of the people out there who want so badly to “get better,” I almost feel guilty for not trying harder when I, at least, know what some good tools are.

Thoughts??

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