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Archive for November, 2008

Update

I always feel bad when I come back here and realize that a month has gone by and I haven’t posted.  It doesn’t seem like that much time has passed.

I’ve been pulling quite a bit lately.  I can’t really figure out a reason, per se.  The situational triggers are still the same, with the car being the worst.  But as for what is causing the rise in urges, I have no idea.  My mood has slumped, but maintains at “meh” right now.  I gave up on the anti-depressents and the the natural supplements (Cod Liver Oil and RNA/DNA/Vit B combo) don’t make me feel as good as the meds, but it has made the big mood swings stop, which is huge.  I’m not raging, crazy, and angry all the time now, so that makes living with my husband a lot easier 🙂  Thinking back though, I think that the Effexor made me nearly manic…it felt good, but when I think about the spending I was doing, and some other impulsive habits, I’m not sure it really was all that good for me.  I’m glad I got off of it regardless, even though I miss feeling so happy all the time.

Anyway, other than that, not much has changed for me.  I feel as though in just accepting that I pull, I have also lost all of my fight.  Since I don’t really care that I pull, it’s that much harder to stop myself.  So there’s internal conflict of sorts, but often, I just let it go.  Winter is always rough on me, so we’ll just take it one day at a time.  It’s all we really CAN do anyway, isn’t it?

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