Archive for May, 2008

I don’t feel stressed.  I don’t think I have any reason to be stressed.  I’ve changed my diet and as a result my headaches have decreased quite a bit so I have more energy and time available to concentrate on other things.  I’m pulling like crazy though.  I have a bald spot on the back of my head and no idea when I did it or “how.”  (Obviously I pulled it.)  I’m usually aware of my pulling and I usually play the game in my head of whether or not to keep going or try resisting.  But it has been probably 15 years since I pulled so much that a patch appeared that I don’t remember pulling.

My skin picking seems pretty intense too.  My shoulders are full of scabs and sore spots.  Luckily my face and eyelashes are faring better so far.  But I can’t get a handle on why I’m pulling so much.  I’ve cut out the refined sugars and don’t eat as much junk food, but the pulling almost seems worse.  Maybe I’m still ingesting too much fructose through all of the fruit that I snack on (which is supposed to be a good healthy snack, not a problem food!).  I’ve already lost 5-10 pounds, depending on the day I look at the scale.  So, why am I pulling so much.  My behavior seems anxious, but I don’t know why.  I’m not actively feeling anxious, so I’m baffled.

It is so tempting to just up meds or add something like Buspar.  But do I really want to be dependent on more meds?  Do I want to deal with side effects?  Not really.  But I want to stop pulling and grow my hair out.  It was a year ago that I was able to stop wearing my wig.  Now I’m to the point I am going to need it again if I pull any more.  My scarves and bandanas just BARELY cover the thin and bald spots on the left side of my head.

I thought I was on the right track and that the dietary changes would continue to make a big impact like they seemed to in the beginning.  Now I’m going backwards, so what do I try next?


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I must apologize again for not keeping up with this blog.  The first couple of weeks in May are just crazy here & I spent most of last week out of my house rather than in it.  That does good things as far as reducing pulling, but my stress level does go up quite a bit too.

I don’t feel like I have much to report on either.  My life has been pretty much on hold for a couple of weeks.  Hopefully I’ll get moving again soon and find some new information to present to you all.  In the meantime, thanks to those of you who have taken time to read and comment.  I love knowing that you are out there, especially if my words are helpful to you.

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