First off, October 1-7 is National Trichotillomania Awareness Week. If I can manage it, I will try to post at least once per day for the week. I’ve updated my picture and status of Facebook. Have you?
Now, the update on my adventure:
On Sunday my husband and I went out to pick apples, have lunch, & stop at a store that’s on the way home from the orchard. We do something similar every fall and since I like Macintosh apples it is an early trip, usually still decently warm. (We used to wait until closer to Halloween but I missed my favorite apples and it usually was just too cold for me to have fun.)
For whatever reason I just didn’t feel like wearing one of my headbands.
I also didn’t feel like wearing a wig. They are just a pain and I like being free of them. So even though I feel like my hair is at its thinnest point yet (since having grown out two years ago). I WENT OUT WITHOUT ANYTHING ON MY HEAD BUT MY OWN HAIR (and quite a bit of hairspray…which I’d forgotten I even owned).
I actually asked my husband first if he was okay with it. He looked at me like it was a stupid question, or he didn’t understand what/why I was asking. So I assume he was okay with it. Because this felt monumental, I took picture. (Still not sure why I didn’t ask HIM to take pictures as they would’ve turned out better…I just felt I needed to do it.) I don’t love the way it looks, and I was worried about the wind since there are LOTS of thin spots…but I think I was in need of the challenge. Or to just go out and be myself and not let the fear rule my day.
This is pretty much still how it looks underneath or pulled back.
So even though I haven’t been doing super great on my Hands Down A Thon goals, I did make a major step forward. I know I can go out this way and be okay. I don’t think I even got any weird looks. Not even when the wind blew. But even if I had, what would it matter, unless I LET it matter? So I say that is progress even if I’m still pulling way more than I’d like and not using my tools as much as I’d prefer.
On that note, today begins the second half of the Hands Down A Thon. I can’t believe the first month is already gone. It really seems like a week or two ago, not 4, that I set up my page and sent out all those emails. I haven’t received any recent donations either, and I miss the little notices in my inbox. They were really encouraging! Here’s to a better 2nd half of the fundraiser!!
Dawn, what a major hurdle you overcame that day. I can only imagine what a liberating feeling it was. Fear is not easy to conquer – you should be very proud of yourself. Know that your beauty shines within and without.
Thanks. I had a little pulling setback since then so I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it comfortably again, but every little step is a step in the journey even if it goes backwards a little.