One of the things that frustrates me most about Trich is how it changes and has a mind of its own in a way. Or, more accurately, how I can go somewhere an not pull hardly at all, but I come home and its like nothing changed.
The idea that stress influences pulling is being debated all the time. I think the current theory is that it makes SOME pullers pull more, but sometimes not. That’s the nature of the beast. But according to all of my practitioners right now, my body says it is stressed even though I mentally haven’t felt that so much.
What is stressful is going to visit my in-laws. They are very different than my family and I just don’t fit there well. They are also loud and a little rude and I just don’t like it. So when I’m there, I do feel stressed, or at least on high alert, like all of my senses are on overdrive. Luckily we don’t go that often.
But what’s weird is that for the 5 days we were there, I didn’t pull, but now that I’m home and I have two days to relax before going back to work, I am pulling like crazy. Actually, not that bad. I have the wherewithall to stop. Sometimes. But that’ s better than nothing.
But I wish I could flip the “no pulling for 5 days” switch at home instead of only when I’m out of town. It’s so weird. Again, the nature of the beast.
What I want to know (maybe science can figure this out) is why some people, like yourself) can go a whole 5 days without pulling, while someone like me can’t even go a few hours without pulling. A 5 day vacation from pulling sounds like a dream to me. I’m a teensy bit jealous, but it kind of gives me a little hope.
It definitely doesn’t happen often, and I’m very glad when it does. The last time I took this trip I pulled quite a bit. The reprieve is nice, but it sort of seems like it all builds up and then I “pay for it” when I come home.
I had another experience of this while away for work camp. I didn’t pull for nearly a whole week. The night I got back home I went on a rampage. Not from stress, not because I was upset about anything. I think that not doing it for a time just builds up the urges and then they overflow to the point I just can’t resist them. It’s so frustrating.