Today is a struggle for me. I’m back at work for the first time since last Thursday. So that’s almost a week. I wasn’t feeling so great during the days I wasn’t here, so I did a lot of reading & sleeping. I had my nice fuzzy hats on all weekend. My pulling was very minimal, which was awesome. I felt like I was making at least a little progress.
But now that I’m back at work, sitting at my computer between sessions & during lunch, I keep finding my hand traveling up to my head. I can’t wear a hat here at work, and I’m still resisting the fact that I probably should start wearing a wig again (bald & thin spots are visible on the back of my head & I have to wear a headband to cover damage in the front). So anyway, my hair is easily accessible and I’m immersed in one of my biggest trigger situations.
What frustrates me even more is that for the four years I’ve worked here, I’ve never pulled at work before. I suppose that is because I was wearing a wig the whole time. But even this summer, once I “outgrew my wig, I didn’t pull. Pulling at work started this fall. I wish it would stop. I’m writing this in hopes that I can keep my hands busy and keep my mind aware of the temptation so that I don’t get stuck in one of those situations where I start pulling without even knowing it.
So I’m at two pulls for today. Compared to a lot of days, that isn’t bad at all. But I still have half the day and a whole drive home to resist through too. Thanks for listening.
I really did pretty well today, with only 5 pulls, until I got home. I made the mistake of sitting down to work on the blog & check email without putting my hat on. So I’m probably up to at least 20 now, most likely higher. Argh. Tomorrow is a new day.