Those of you who have Trich, or have a similar disorder like OCD, or addictions, probably have heard about triggers. Triggers are precipitating behaviors or situations where you tend to fall into your disorder more. For me, reading, computer time, and driving are my biggest triggers. This made being a commuter student in college really hard. Thankfully I had a short commute, but writing papers and trying to do homework were awful for me. Most of the times I just didn’t do my reading assignments because it was too much of a temptation.
Things haven’t gotten much better, unfortunately. I love communicating with my friends online. My job requires me to commute 45 minutes north of here 4 days per week. Reading is a big hobby of mine. So I’m constantly in a battle against myself not to pull. I can either give up everything that is important to me, or I can pull. That’s not really a fair decision to have to make.
So that’s where therapy comes in. I’m supposed to try and resist the urge to pull. I’m supposed to reframe the urge as something that is just a “chemical glitch” and that I don’t need to do; that I will be okay even if the anxiety builds up from not pulling. Sure, in my head, I know this logically. Of course, my body isn’t going to explode because I’m not pulling. But that sure doesn’t make the actual physical sensations any less. My hands get shaky, my head gets itchy, my scalp gets tingly. It is hard to resist when I just want those sensations to go away. But I’m trying. That’s part of what this blog is about. I’m trying to make a point of not pulling while I work on my blog so that I can “desensitize” the pulling and computer connection. We’ll see how it goes.
So, if you are a puller, what are your triggers? If you don’t know, start journaling to figure them out. It is a lot easier to work on them, if you know what you’re battling against.
