I was just married 6 months ago. My husband is a kind, creative, and talented man. He’s even hard working when he decides to be. I have my own business and it is flourishing. We own a home, we have a cat & fish, and someday we will have kids. My parents have been married for 31 years and are loving & supportive, as are my two sisters. I have a couple of close friends and a lot of acquaintances. I might get to study music therapy in Europe this summer and stay there for two months. In other words, my life is pretty darn good. So, if this disorder is caused by stress, then why in the heck can’t I stop pulling when things are good?
When I was young, I never thought I would have a boyfriend, much less a husband. I was terribly shy and didn’t know how I would survive after high school. (Although I’m really not sure how I survived high school come to think of it.) College was a struggle for me in many ways. Life has been full of trials, but hair pulling has always been the biggest. I know that I’m not supposed to say this, (per my therapist) but pulling defines me. I can’t remember myself pre-pulling except for by looking at old pictures. Even then, I think I used to be a happy kid who smiled & played & was silly, but I don’t really remember. Is that normal?
At the same time, I know that pulling has made me stronger. I’m in the field of music therapy as a result of wanting to learn about psychology and helping people with disorders like mine. I live where I do, and have my business, because I was self-aware enough to realize that I couldn’t be mentally healthy where I used to live. I decided that a scary change was better than a predictable misery. Because of that move, I was in the right place to meet my husband. So, maybe I should just be thankful that I pull and that it had such a surprisingly positive influence in my life.
Um, No. There’s no way to know what might have been possible for me had I never started pulling. Maybe I would have been able to handle medical school. Maybe I would have had more luck meeting guys and would have married before the age of 29. Who knows. There’s no point in dwelling on the what-ifs. All I know is that the road was hard, but I took what I was given and tried to make the best of it. For now, that’s all I can do. So I’m posting this blog. I’m hoping to become more self-aware. I’m hoping to make my readers more aware. I’m hoping to come in contact with some other people who pull so that we can help pull each other out of this “hole” that constantly threatens to suck is in.
So join me, and make yourselves known.
I in no way meant to give the impression that I think trich or any other disorder is “fun” or “funny.” The post I wrote one day prior to the you commented on was about myself and my own personal history in terms of health and mental health. Regular readers of my blog have a context against which to view the trich post, and as far as I know, none of them misinterpreted it. I have changed the title to guard against further misinterpretations.